As we are about to enter the seventh month, a genuine perception of summer is so very palpable in my surroundings. It is my favorite part of the annual span, as this enigmatic season so effortlessly entices my entire body and soul.
This year it will enter my recollection as a unique period in my life. One that has brought my way a sought after change, fulfilling my dreams and desires upon years of standing still.
It is thus time for me to give into the allure of life when it is at its best.
It is time to live. Fully and unconditionally.
Currently I find myself mostly on the road, sharing my days between my old home and my new home. Therefore I increasingly neglect certain aspects of my reality, blogging being one of them. I love writing my online diary endlessly, yet I find very little opportunity to do so and even less to visit all of you.
To just keep posting and and not returning your lovely visits is not just joyless, but also somewhat unfair. Thus I have decided to take a long blog break - a needed break to savour and focus on the off line world for a while.
I hope you will not forget about me, as I surely will not forget any of you. I intend to return once the last rich summer month is closing towards its end, bringing with it the shift of seasons, with writing saturated by new experiences full of sweet contemplations and poignant reflections.
I have stated numerous times in the past how much I love the month of June. I love this month due so many reasons.
I relish in its youth - as it is the first month of the summer.
I relish in its bloom - as it is the month when all my fragrant shrubs and bushes bloom.
And most of all - I relish in its light - as it it is the month of white nights and the summer solstice.
I am summer child and as such I am vivacious and full of life and passion. I also hold a certain sensitivity to natural wonders and thus I will forever stand mesmerized when watching the evening heavens in the sixth month of the year, the annual midpoint.
This year, the longest day of the solstice offered spectacular skies, which came across as endlessly enchanting, almost divine or biblical, full of dramatic thunderheads with shooting sun-ray beams, painting my westerly view in cool azure blue mixed with platinum white and anthracite grey, adding a hint of warm orange.
Trying to eternalize the evening skies with my camera, I was overwhelmed by a plethora of sentimental emotions. Prevailingly a certain soft sadness, bordering on gentle melancholy, as I became aware of one unmistakable fact - once again the threshold of light has been crossed...
Almost half of this year has passed.
June signifies in no uncertain terms that we are midway through the annual cycle of life. It also represents my absolutely favorite month of all, when light rules my world and perception.
As I savour the moment, I feel an onset of sweet nostalgia, looking back over such a short period in time, yet so significant in my own reality.
My life has changed drastically in the last six months. It started with a sense of a change in the air, turning into period of pain and sorrow, loss and confusion. Then as if by magic, my world turned around and I entered a time of peace and tranquility.
My life has become equivalent to a dream. I pinch myself at times, wondering whether I am indeed awake. Happiness of this caliber has until now escaped me and holding it in my hand, I try to hold onto it firmly yet not too tight. That which I have been searching for so aimlessly for many decades has finally presented itself to me, so freely and coincidentally, yet as if it always been in the stars for me.
I feel finally fulfilled and completed. I feel loved and I love. I feel at home and I feel I belong. I feel my future is free and undetermined, with a potential of great adventures to unravel, yet it feels safe, secure and sheltered.
And so do I.
Therefore this immense content has greatly affected my writing inspiration and my writing content.
My mind is not triggered into any serious contemplations, and has thus become slightly docile and inactive. I find myself in a period of tranquility, where inner peace rules my perception. I no longer commit my thinking to soul searching, nor are my reflections asking questions or hunting for answers.
It has made me wonder whether our wisdom is only born out of pain. And whether true learning only comes from hardship and experiences that arise solely from events that went wrong.
There is one question I do however keep asking myself constantly - what can I take with me into the future from this amazing and content part of my life?
Perhaps it has it been brought my way to reinforce my belief in the good and the divine. In love and trust. In destiny and happy endings.
Or it is simply a reward for my long travels and fierce battles, and for not ever loosing my optimism and hope.
Then again - perhaps I am not meant to question anything at all. Perhaps I am simply suppose to give into the incredible allure of life when it is at its best, enjoying the sweet moments of bliss that are brought my way, accepting them unconditionally and completely, without inquiries and assessments.
Perhaps good things do come to those who wait and the best in life is always yet to come.
These days I spend somewhat limited time in my white house on the hill. Instead, almost every weekend I am adding miles to my little Toyota engine, as my faithful car takes me up north to a place that is increasingly becoming my new home.
Thus my terrace and garden are suffering from a certain mild neglect. The patio tiles are surrounded by weed and I have not planted any seasonal flowers since early this spring.
My potted plants are luckily all evergreens and they seem to be nevertheless thriving quiet well and have grown beyond belief. The garden is now displaying the bloom of all my fragrant bushes and shrubs, such as jasmine, caprifolium and a variety of roses.
Despite the lack of my attention, the growth proceeds undisturbed in an uncanny way.
The other morning, as I stepped outside with a cup of coffee, I had to linger there for a while, inhaling the perfumed morning air, saturated by dew and scents of June bloom.
A faint, slightly undetermined feeling encompassed my entire being, a mixture of sweet melancholy and subtle sentimental longing with a hint of excitement. My mind became aware of an approaching finale of a certain personal era, while my consciousness captured mental shots of a moment in time - one that might never ever repeat itself again....
I am returning after almost fourteen days of absence back to the online world. I never envisioned to be away for this long and I would certainly have warned everyone that such was the case, would I have known it myself beforehand.
The best in life is however that which is spontaneous and unplanned and I have simply decided to give into beautiful moments, letting my guard down and forgetting my routines. I have done so with great satisfaction, spending the last two weeks with people that mean the world to me.
I have rewritten this post numerous times as often one lacks words to adequately describe happiness and content.
Thus eventually I decided to announce here only one single piece of news:
I have cut my long hair.
Yes I did. My very long, way below my waste hair, my pride and joy.
And it feels really good.
This was an action not initiated by me - yet I surprised myself to have agreed to it, despite the fact that I shun beauty saloons and have not let my hair nowhere near any scissors for almost eight years.
Ultimately I guess that is the allure of life - when we least expect it, change will enter our reality with an unprecedented ease. It will come softly and without effort and we will give into it without fear.
While I watched the hairstylist work her magic, locks of my old hair kept falling silently onto the floor in the beauty parlor. I then realized there was so much symbolism in those discarded strands. I felt in a strange way liberated from lapsed years of my life, those filled with hardships and to a certain degree stagnation. Now they were left forever in the past, where they belonged.
Not forgotten, simply just concluded.
I realized in no uncertain terms that I am about to move on - and the hair cut is only the beginning.
Lilac is one of my favorite blooming shrubs. It holds so much significance in my perception, as its unique scent brings back so many happy memories.
The aroma regresses my childhood and most of all my teenage years, when the bouquet of the purple flowers would saturate the air, signaling the onset of summer - and in its turn, the carefree days of the approaching holidays.
Even today, every time I encounter a lilac shrub in bloom, I have to linger for a while, closing my eyes while I inhale that fresh fragrance of the flowering bunch, making me recollect and reminiscence, defying the laws of time.
Ultimately those brief moments remind me of that one single vital fact - the best in life is indeed free and locked into a few simple pleasures.
In no uncertain terms such was my recent encounter, finding this purple treasure blooming in scented abundance - in the same place where I found true love. Yet another symbol send by the universe, reassuring me that after all the detours and wrong turns I ever took in my past, I am at last traveling on the right path, moving in the right direction...
I was born under the Tatra Mountains, to a Czech father and a Slovak mother. I grew up in Sweden and lived almost ten years in North Carolina.
More than a decade ago my line of work took me to Denmark, where I live today. My home, which I share with the man that holds my heart, lies in the northerly part of a Danish peninsula, in the proximity of endless, wide and pristine westbound sandy beaches, surrounded by the rough and untamed North Sea.
My writing is defined by reflections on my cosmopolitan past and my intriguing present. Ultimately I try to convey in words and images my personal thoughts and feelings about life itself, with all its magic, natural splendour and the beauty of simple pleasures.